Chop Wood, Carry Water

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

10 Uncomfortable Things

So here is a funny, but quite true post about my opinions on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  Today's post describes 10 things that are highly UNcomfortable that you must become comfortable with if you want to make BJJ a lifestyle.  This post is mostly for the ladies, but some of the items on the list might be relevant for the man folk as well.   Yes, I am aware that I am a lowly blue belt and my BJJ journey is just getting underway.  However as you will read I am CERTAIN that you will all agree with this list and its components.  Enjoy!

10 Things that are uncomfortable that you must become comfortable with in order to make BJJ a lifestyle:

1)  Your ears hurt.   Seriously.  Unless you wear ear protection (a lot of ladies don't) your lil' ears are sore all the time.  They get bent, squished, and burned constantly.  Because most of us ladies did not grow up wrestling, we are not predisposed to the cauliflower ear prevention methods, i.e. ear protection.

2)  Your water bill will be 120 dollars a month....minimum.  Every day you wash a gi, sometimes 2;  not to mention all of your other training gear every day.   You may take 2 showers a day, wash your hands a lot, and become good friends with Hibiclens.  ;)

3)  No matter what you do, your Gi just will not get clean anymore and becomes permanently "seasoned."  There comes a point when no matter how many times you wash a gi, on hot, it still smells the second you get warmed up in class.

4)  Someone's sweat WILL drop into your eye or into your mouth.  I don't think anyone will ever get comfy with this, but your reaction goes from "WTF, gross!" to "ah, no worries it happens."   YUCK

5)  Your arms and legs will never be sexy.  They will have at least one obnoxious bruise on them at all times.  A bruise that makes your parents wonder if your fiance is beating you.  Yeah, I just said that.

6)  Almost every time you train there will be rogue hairs in your mouth.  Not your rogue hairs, but someone elses; black, curly ones that end up inside your mouthpiece and sometimes make it down your throat.  Groooooosss.  Hopefully you can dig them out of your mouth before you swallow them.

7)  The back of your arms getting pinched.  Remember in middle school kids used to pinch that back of your arms and it would make you sooooo mad?   Ugh, I remember this as a crappy flirting technique that guys in 6th grade used to employ...oh yes, pinching the back of my arm will make me want to hold your hand for sure.  About as useful of a flirting technique as snapping a girls bra.  Aaaaanyway this is commonplace and happens on accident on the regular.  This pairs with number 5 because it gives you ugly bruises on your arms that people want to get an explanation for.

8)  Your fingertips look like a Clingon's forehead.  No really.  And yes, a Star Trek reference was warranted here.  Your fingertips look so ugly from the calluses that you won't let anyone take a picture of your engagement ring on your finger because all you see is ENORMOUS RED FLAKY callouses in the picture.   Wait, what?  No, I'm not talking about me.....;)

9) You injure parts of your body that you didn't know existed.  Along these same lines you injure parts of your body that you know exist, they are just completely random.  Oh this tiny little pinpoint spot on my knee hurts.  Or your thumb hurts like hellfire for a reason you can't remember.

10)  Someone will breathe inside your mouth.  Someone who you don't want breathing inside of your mouth. This one is the worst to me.  It actually happened today....let's imagine it shall are near the end of an intense training session, someone is trying hard to sweep you, or vise versa, and at the same time you are starting to breathe in through your mouth because its sooooo hot and humid, your sparring partner exhales hard....right into your mouth.  Then you violently try and exhale their air back out of your mouth before you inhale it back into your body where it will be trapped forever and ever and ever and ever....wait, also not talking about me.  ;)

In my opinion, these are some of the biggest doozies.  There are many more to name and I would love to have them added onto the list.  Please let me know what you think!  Cheers!!


  1. May I please add 3 things I think some can relate to.

    1. The 'after-workout' shower used to be a pleasant experience...refreshing. But after GI class I find cuts, scratches, GI burn, etc that I can't remember where they came from. Burn :)

    2. Related to your #4. The guilty feeling when it is my overly abundant sweat constantly hitting my partners in the face. Always apologizing. Every class. I know its got to be gross.

    3. Related to your #8. I noticed about 6 months ago that my wedding ring won't slip on/off so easy. Then I started noticing my knuckles on every finger joint look like a monkey's hand. I now have 'Ju-Jitsu' hands. Not a big deal for a guy, can't imagine its a pleasant thought for the girls on the team :)

  2. Great post. I identify with every single one of them. @tomepenn - I was stunned when I couldn't get my ring off a few weeks ago. This is happening more frequently. I thought I was just swollen from too much salt. My husband suggested it was because of jiu-jitsu - I guess it is true.

  3. Hilarious post - this really made me smile, because I can relate to all of it! In fact I can also relate to the comments:

    - Keep forgetting NOT to use my lovely salt body scrub on my bruised and scratched body in the shower straight after training...ouch!!!

    - I am on now my second wedding ring due to Jiu Jitsu fingers. This one is bigger, so hoping it will be ok for a long while, (husband not amused...)

  4. LOVE #7...the pain still amazes me.