Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Please is there any hope left?
Alright people here it is, my first blog that has nothing to do with BJJ. I have absolutely had it today. Can someone please answer me: are there any men left on this planet that have any decency when it comes to hitting on women? I have heard it all as of today. I have heard some really ridiculous pick up lines aimed at myself as well as lines aimed at strangers that are absolutely insane. Today I received two. The first one was from a vagrant: "Hey Hey Hey let's pump some iron!" That was actually pretty funny and I laughed. The second was "hey you just get done workin out?! Lemme walk you to your car and you can tell me about it." No thanks, not now, not ever. Lately since Crossfit has become all the rage I have gotten the "Hey you must do crossfit." I take that as a complement but I never knew that Crossfit had a body type. Apparently it makes you have small boobies and no badonkadonk. There it is, the Crossfit body. haha. Now none of these insult me, these are just pretty funny if you think about it. Today however, I heard one that took the insulting cream filled cake. I was walking into Publix minding my own business when I notice a lady being approched by a vagabond. He said "hey lady you gots sum munny?" The lady politely replied "no, I'm sorry." Then homeless McGavin says to the same lady "hey you know I like heavy women like you, right?" I answered for her. I don't know why, I don't know why this came out of my mouth, I don't know why I went from minding my own business to chiming in on this exchange but I said "Did you reeeallly just say that?!" Lady looked at me, homeless dude looked at me, I stared at homeless dude and just said "really?" Then I walked inside. I do not know what came over me, maybe it's the lack of decency and respect that some men have nowadays. The entire situation made me think. What happened to the good ol' boys? The boys who offered to buy you a drink or the boys who try to make small talk over the section of People magazine you're reading (knowing full and well they could really care less about what is in People Magazine). Or, smh, when guys used to ask their friends to hook them up with "that girl" Now its butt-grabby, handsy, foul-remarked dudes who just want to skip the formalities. Hey I have a word of advice....ladies like the formalities. I remember the first thing Jeff ever said to me, I asked for some scissors and he said yes that the front desk had scissors but none for me. haha. It was funny and cute, and it opened up some friendly banter (I in turn made fun of his pants), flirting, and the rest is history. I'm not writing this for me. I am just wondering if there is any hope for the ladies out there as far as the courtship process is concerned. I am thinking no. Please if I am wrong let me know, and also I would love to hear some other amazing pick up lines. FYI Atlanta is the haven of terrible pick up lines, I'm convinced.
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"FYI Atlanta is the haven of terrible pick up lines, I'm convinced."
ReplyDeleteFact. I've had some really awkward encounters, especially walking around Midtown. Once I was heading to the North Ave. MARTA station and this guy in some state of homelessness or near homelessness started following right behind me going "Shake it baby, you shake it" over and over. Fortunately I had my headphones on so I could pretend like I didn't hear him. After I got on the train I wished I had turned around and said something along the lines of, "can I HELP you, sir? Or are you just going to follow me right into the station like a fucking creep?"
Ugh.
Yall are hillarious and very right. My most awkward encounter to date... I was at the N. Ave publix (of course!) checking out when the guy behind me hands me a nicely folded up piece of paper and says 'this is for you'. I said okay and took it, for who the hell knows why, I mean I was trying to checkout it was too awkward not to, even the checkout lady was weirded out. But the most bizarre thing was, I read the note later and it was a letter inviting me to be in his like heirom of women, no joke. I showed Ben when I got home and he wanted to call and give the guy hell, but I snuck and trashed the letter before he could, I was too grossed out to look at the damn thing any longer lol
ReplyDeleteFor now on ladies as ling as there is a crowd around just turn around and say something that makes them feel completely stupid. Something like "what the hell makes you think I would ever be interested in something that looks and acts like you?!" loud as hell. Embarass the shit out of them.
ReplyDeleteGood lord I feel like I am a magnet for bad pick up lines, such as the following:
ReplyDelete- one dude just barked at me...
- So, what part of India are you from?
- Do you have a boyfriend? But are you faithful?
A couple of summers ago, I kept seeing the same guy as I walked to work and he would occasionally ask me why I wasn't smiling (probably because you're giving me the creeps!). He then began following me one day and I somehow got rid of him. Needless to say I walked on the other side of the sidewalk from then on.
Oh, and today on my first day of work, some dude just came up and whispered "hello beautiful" in my ear and then walked away. But I definitely had more awkward encounters in Atlanta than I have in NJ or NYC.
Too damn funny. One day, I want to use the line, "You know I'm into heavy women like you." Just to see the look on the other person's face.
ReplyDeleteI do have one thing that I like to do in restaurants - - - but I think the ladies like it.
If there is a woman between the age of 55 and 70 who I can tell has worked hard to keep her body in shape while her husband/date looks fat and old, I will walk up to the table and say something like,
"Excuse me. I'm gay so this is not a pick up line, but you look amazing and radiate true beauty." I then look at the fat old dude and say, "You are one lucky man".
The guy always looks at me uncomfortably, but the women almost always tells me it's the sweetest thing she's heard in a long time.
Ah, "smh" - somebody was talking about that in the car yesterday. Your blog is the first time I've noticed it: "shake my head", IIRC? :D
ReplyDeleteI'm a guy, so fortunately don't get subjected to creepy pick up lines (I got my bottom pinched in a gay club a couple of times, but I'm not sure that counts. Especially as gay clubs - or at least that one - are awesome: best music and friendliest atmosphere, as opposed to a bunch of straight guys drooling over women and/or drunkenly starting fights).
It's strange that men feel justified to randomly use them on women passing by. I don't think I've ever intentionally used a pick up line myself, but then I'm lucky in that eleven years ago, my girlfriend asked ME out rather than the other way round. Otherwise I'd probably still be single. ;)